Headline
A Close Shave
To save time in the morning I have taken to shaving in the shower. I am finding my new technique works well, except for one slight glitch. This morning as I was enjoying my steaming hot shower I realized I had left my shaving cream in the bathroom cabinet which would naturally necessitate me having to leap out of the shower, slop across the slippery tiled bathroom floor (risking life and limb) to retrieve the forgotten item. I was about to make the leap when I noticed something at the end of the bath that stopped me dead in my watery tracks. I am not the only person in my house hold who now shaves in the shower. My teenage daughter has recently started to shave her legs and there … Read entire article »
Featured
Animals, Children and Diarrhea!
I own a two year-old Australian Shepard called Checkers.Owning a dog is fantastic. I have a ten year-old boy called Alastair.Having a child is even more fantastic. But having a dog and a child … Read more »
A Swim in the Dark
This is a humorous experience with skinny dipping. This story is 18 minutes. It may take a moment to start. If you’d like to subscribe to Matthew’s stories, click the Subscribe icon to the … Read more »
Popular
My Accidental Soccer Riot
The soccer game ended. Happy with the result I exited the Brighton & Hove Albion Football Club. Several thousand angry Portsmouth fans spilled out of the ground disgruntled at the … Read more »
Cadbury vs. Kraft
I thought the tough times of 2009 were behind me until Black Monday smacked me and sixty million other Brits square in the chops. January 18th 2010 will go down in history as … Read more »
Shampoo
I am a creature of habit.Every morning as I shower, I grab the shampoo bottle and squirt a liberal dollop in the palm of my hand. I then apply it with the … Read more »
Latest
On the Lamb
As the down turn in the economy lingers many large corporations are still experiencing an extremely challenging economic environment. Cutting costs remains the single most important concern facing most C.E.O.s, and so it is inevitable that down sizing continues and along with it lay offs. It is believed to be this increase in the number of lay offs that has fueled an unusual trend that is sweeping across corporate America. The use of a small, soft, poorly made sock puppet called … Read entire article »
Getting Ahead
Recently my neighborhood hosted the annual Highland Street Fair. I realized that if I want to get from point A to point B in a timely fashion, I shouldn’t plan a route that takes me through the Highland Street Fair. … Read entire article »
The Cure: Tomatoes
During these hard times when success seems a little harder to come by and bouts of depression a little more frequent, I think everybody should be encouraged to plant tomatoes. Nothing in this world gives back to me more for so little investment. … Read entire article »
Misnamed #2
In sports why does no one die during sudden death? … Read entire article »
Donald Trump Action Figure
Donald Trump’s rise to mega fame and stardom, launched not by bankrupt ventures and tablodic divorces, but also with the popularity of his hit shows “The Apprentice” and “Celebrity Apprentice” has fueled the demand for a Donald Trump Action Figure to epic proportions. Doll maker, Wee The People of Oakdale, California, has taken on the challenge. And the market is primed. ”I’ve never thought of Donald Trump as an action figure before because, he, uh, never did anything,” says a young … Read entire article »
Misnamed #1
I don’t know anybody who uses their swamp cooler to cool a swamp. … Read entire article »
Good-Bye Road Rage
I have a friend who readily admits to occasionally spacing out while driving in the fast lane and travelling at 50mph. When the frustrated driver who behind her blares his horn, she just imagines he is saying to her, “Hi there, excuse me, sorry to bother you, could you please move over so I can scoot on by. Thank you. Have a great day.” She then waves and cheerily moves over. If everybody thought like this it would be the end of road rage. … Read entire article »
True Beauty is on the Inside
Lily’s Beauty Salon tries hard to keeps all of the beauty inside the salon. … Read entire article »
A Gift for You
I love to give flowers. But in order to do so I have to kill them. I am glad I don’t enjoy giving puppies. … Read entire article »